One of those days

I swear I must be PMS'ing or some shit because there was really no reason for me to freak out today.

Cedar's first work today was not great, even though Dianne somehow thought it was. Cedar hate hate hates pressure, and is really uncomfortable with Dianne being out there with us. So....... she didn't want to cover or go around the sheep at all to get them off Dianne so we could work by ourselves. I got increasingly more frustrated because I just wasn't doing anything right and again, my timing felt all off and sluggish. I felt like I had never done this before at all. Is that normal?!?

Finally, we got it together and worked a little bit and that was okay, but then the sheep got away. It would have been okay (Cedar wasn't really chasing them too much or anything) but they got pushed back onto the field and Cedar took off. She ran off chasing after them and I had it pretty much together until Dianne mentioned that one could run into the fence and break its neck. Then.............. gosh, I dunno what happened. LOL. Thankfully I was able to get Cedar back and get her to the car before I made a first class fool of myself.

I hate feeling like such an idiot. I feel like my handling has regressed or something. I feel like I will NEVER get this. And most of all, I hate feeling so damned insecure!

I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I can't help it, it's just how I'm wired! :D

I wish I didn't want this so bad.

Our second work of the day was MUCH better! We worked more on lengthening her outrun and we did a couple of pretty nice ones, our longest yet. I got in a good correction for her blowing me off on the lie down and that seemed to help some. I just don't know what I need to do to make her see that she has to lie down right when I say it. There's lots I wish I knew how to do, though. But she's coming along pretty well.... she's kicking out a lot wider and moving off my body pressure more. Her call off is pretty good, too. I also worked on, at Dianne's suggestion, having her stay behind me when we are walking to and from the field. That seemed to help her mentally. Or maybe it helped me mentally because I didn't have to constantly nag at her with the leash.

Who knows. I certainly don't know anything. And I certainly hope that people don't think that I'm trying to act like I know more than I do. I greatly appreciate all the advice and help. And if I come on strong or over-enthusiastic it's because I really do love this and want to learn all I can.